


kira-kira

by mossring



Series: one, two, three [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Cooking, Fluff, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossring/pseuds/mossring
Summary: If there’s one thing Satoshi and star-shaped carrot slices have in common, it’skira-kira.Shimmering, beautiful. Satoshi iskira-kira,the stars under Hiwada’s night sky, the shimmering blue of Mew as it transforms into Pokemon after Pokemon. But Satoshi is so much more than that. Satoshi is Satoshi, and unlike the stars in the sky and unlike Mew, he’s not out of reach. He’s right by Gou’s side, as tangible as star-shaped carrot slices and stew, and Gou doesn’t want to ever let go.
Relationships: Gou | Goh & Koharu | Chloe, Gou | Goh/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Series: one, two, three [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899298
Comments: 13
Kudos: 72





	kira-kira

**Author's Note:**

> this fic uses Japanese names:  
> Gou - Goh  
> Satoshi - Ash  
> Koharu - Chloe  
> Rabifoot - Raboot  
> Messon - Sobble  
> Fushigisou - Ivysaur  
> 10,000 Volts - Thunderbolt  
> Kuchiba - Vermilion  
> Hiwada Town - Azalea Town  
> Barrierd - Mr. Mime  
> Professor Sakuragi - Professor Cerise  
> Yoshino - Talia  
> Sōta - Parker  
> Wanpachi - Yamper  
> Hanada City - Cerulean City  
> Korni - Korrina  
> Kaki - Kiawe  
> Suiren - Lana  
> Mao - Mallow  
> Mamane - Sophocles  
> Meteno - Minior  
> Dande - Leon  
> Amajo - Tsareena  
> Enecocoa - Tapu Cocoa  
> Kasumi - Misty
> 
> Pippi - Clefairy  
> Py - Cleffa

[ **kira-kira** (kee ra kee ra): glittering; shining

The sky is kira-kira because its color is deep but see-through at the same time. The sea is kira-kira for the same reason and so are people's eyes.

—Cynthia Kadohata, _Kira-Kira_

* * *

Gou likes star-shaped carrot slices. He likes them almost as much as he does Satoshi.

Star-shaped carrot slices mean home. They mean the warmth of the stew sitting in his throat and stomach, gentle steam caressing his face as he sits at a brightly lit round table. They mean love—love as rare and amazing as his family: his grandmother, his mother, his father. Love as precious as his bond with Rabifoot and Messon and all of his Pokemon at the Sakuragi Park; his friendship with Koharu (he’ll always appreciate how she never gave up on him no matter how much she said otherwise) and Tokio (he never gave up on him, either, even after three years). But most of all, love as beautiful as his adoration for Satoshi.

He doesn’t know when it all started. He thought he did—he thought it started that day when they were following the line of Fushigisou up, up and up towards the heavens, and their skins grazed as they lifted each other up the tower. He thought it started when Satoshi stepped in front of him and all of the Fushigisou, arms outstretched, his silhouette glowing gold in the bold clash of the setting sun and Pikachu’s dazzling 10,000 Volts, standing gallant, brave, strong—and Gou just stood there and stared, heart in his throat.

He thought it started that day, but it was only when he was standing at the edge of Kuchiba Port that he realised it’d started the day before, the very moment he locked eyes with the strange boy clambering onto Lugia at the same time as he was. It’d started ever since the beginning, and he’s been hooked ever since.

If there’s one thing Satoshi and star-shaped carrot slices have in common, it’s _kira-kira._ Shimmering, beautiful. He remembers the stars draped across Hiwada Town’s sky, where he watched them shift into a glimmering tapestry of Starmie, Py, Pippi and Rayquaza under the warm lull of Tokio’s voice. He remembers thinking it was utterly beautiful. And Satoshi makes him feel the same way. Satoshi is _kira-kira,_ the stars under Hiwada’s night sky, the shimmering blue of Mew as it transforms into Pokemon after Pokemon. But Satoshi is so much more than that. Satoshi is Satoshi, and unlike the stars in the sky and unlike Mew, he’s not out of reach. He’s right by Gou’s side, as tangible as star-shaped carrot slices and stew, and Gou doesn’t want to ever let go.

* * *

Koharu is visibly exasperated. But then again, when isn’t she?

“Bari-bari!” Barried exclaims, sandwiched between the two of them. The three of them are gathered before the kitchen island in Koharu’s house, donning matching aprons speckled with flour. In the living room, Professor Sakuragi and Aunt Yoshino sit at the dining table with steaming cups of coffee, watching them with small smiles. Wanpachi yaps at Koharu’s legs, wagging its tail furiously, tongue hanging out in heavy huffs. Rabifoot leans languidly in a corner, its eyes closed and arms crossed.

Barried mimes cutting the carrot carefully, as if turning a slice round and round slowly to carve out a star. Koharu follows his example silently, deftly finishing a star and moving on to the next. Her stars look more like cherry blossoms than stars, and Gou tells her so for the millionth time. Her eyebrow twitches, and she turns her familiar glare on him—only it’s softer, more rounded on the edges than he remembers. 

“I’m a Sakuragi,” she scoffs. “My stars are cherry blossoms.” Then she smiles at her mum and dad, who beam back at her proudly. Gou shakes his head, but he can’t hide that he’s smiling, too.

By the stove, Barried is stirring the stew in the pot, round and round, round and round. The familiar, lovely scent of chopped onion, garlic and anchovies, thickened with milk and starch, fills the air and permeates Gou’s nose. He and Koharu continue cutting carrots in companionable silence. It’s been a while since it’s just been the two of them.

Suddenly, Koharu breaks the silence. “What about you?”

He looks up. “Huh?”

“What are _your_ stars?”

He stills. “What do you mean?”

Koharu sighs, like she's talking to a child. Maybe she is. ( _But you're_ still _a kid, though?_ Her words during the Orienteering Event ring in his ears, ever so clear.) “Please, Gou, you’re like an open book. I know you didn’t call for dinner here for _me._ My stars are my family. They’re for Mum, Dad, Sota and Wanpachi. But yours…” She pauses, and Gou already knows what she’s about to say even before she continues, “Your stars are for Satoshi, aren’t they?”

He feels himself flush, and he turns away from her, bowing his head adamantly and continues to slice the carrot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His voice quavers. 

Koharu says nothing for a while. Seconds slip past them like the melted butter Barried slides into the pot. Then, she asks, “What time is Satoshi coming here?”

“7p.m. He said he was going to Hanada City to visit an old friend.” Gou tries not to let a tinge of bitterness seep into his voice, and tries to remind himself that Satoshi isn’t _his._ Even though Satoshi never says anything, it’s clear that he’s travelled the world, been through so many experiences, made so many friends in people and Pokemon alike. It’s clear from the way every city they go to screams his name, the way he walks in the streets, familiar and self-assured. It’s clear from the way people like Visquez speak of him, like he’s a faraway legend, the way people like Korni and Mao and Kaki and Suiren and Mamane gravitate to him just like how _he_ gravitates to Satoshi. Even Dande, the strongest of all Trainers, gravitates to Satoshi. Satoshi is the sun, and Gou is just another one of the many planets that orbit around the sun, utterly captivated by its irresistible pull.

The Rotom phone buzzes and rings in his pocket. “Incoming call!” it bleeps. “Incoming call!”

“Speaking of old friends,” drawls Koharu as Gou fishes his phone out to see it’s a video call from Mao. He answers it, and Koharu edges out of the frame. Mao’s cheery disposition fills the screen, her Amajo waving at them.

“Alola, Gou! How’s the stew coming along?”

“Alola, Mao. It’s going great so far! We’re currently cutting the carrots.” He pauses, casting a sideway glance at Koharu, then whispers into the phone, “Thanks for all your advice, I couldn’t have done it without you, since my parents and grandmother weren’t available.”

Mao’s sunny smile turns teasing in a split second, as unpredictable as the weather. “Oh, anything to help prepare a perfect meal for your boyfriend!” she says _very_ loudly amid Amajo’s giggles. In the background, Gou can hear Mamane and Suiren snickering. 

Heat rushes up Gou’s face immediately, and he shrieks, _“Satoshi’s not my boyfriend!”_

Too late, he realises Professor Sakuragi and Yoshino have turned to look at him, smiles barely hidden behind their lifted teacups. 

“I _heard that, Gou!”_ Sota’s voice echoes from the stairwell, and he proceeds to dissolve into a bout of snorts and giggles.

Koharu gives Gou a deadpan look.

“All right, I’m _sorry,”_ says Mao, not sounding in the least bit sorry. “I won’t hold you up any longer. Hope the stew comes out nice!”

“Thanks,” mutters Gou before he hangs up on her, and tries not to die of embarrassment. 

Koharu leaves to help Barried at the stove, and Gou concentrates fully on cutting out stars. They remind him of Meteno, but this is different—unlike Meteno, _his_ stars will never disintegrate. Each star is filled with something he remembers about Satoshi. Every little memory of him, every little memory of their journeys together. And each of them is packed with love. And love, Gou believes, will never fade.

He just hopes Satoshi likes the stew, because when it’s done, it will be _kira-kira._ Like him.

* * *

Satoshi arrives well in the evening, a good half-an-hour late. He has taken off his cap, and when Koharu opens the door for him, his hair is dripping wet. He shakes off a fine layer of snow from his body, and Koharu’s glare sharpens when he leaves all of it on the doormat. He gives her a sheepish smile as he squats down, trying to clear the snow off the rug. That’s when Gou realises his hands are trembling, a shade paler than he remembers. 

“Pika-pi,” says Pikachu in a concerned voice, and Gou’s mind goes blank. He rushes forward and takes Satoshi’s hands into his, and stills when they’re ice cold.

“Oh, Gou!” says Satoshi in his usual happy-go-lucky voice, beaming up at him. Then he creases his brow and looks down at their interlocked hands. “Uh—”

“What happened to you?” Gou cries, his voice ringing shrill, and Satoshi flinches. He lets Gou hurry him in front of the fireplace, sticking his hands towards the flickering flames. _Not big enough._ Rabifoot leaps into action before he can even blink, launching a well-aimed Ember into the hearth. The fire kicks up, growing steadily warmer, and Satoshi sighs in relief.

“Thanks, Gou. Thanks, Rabifoot.” Satoshi looks up in surprise when Koharu hands him a cup of hot Enecocoa, visible concern on her face. “Thanks, Koharu.”

“What happened to you?” Gou repeats, and Satoshi’s smile fades. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you,” he says. “I just went swimming with Kasumi in the Hanada Gym and I lost track of time. I hurried back here as fast as I could, but it started snowing half-way. But you should totally come with me some time, Gou! Kasumi’s super fun!”

“You should learn to take care of yourself, Satoshi,” says Gou. “I was worried about you.” The words slip out of his mouth before he can think it through, and he bites his lip, turning away. He can feel Satoshi’s gaze burning the nape of his neck.

Professor Sakuragi clears his throat. “Right, I’m glad you’re all right, Satoshi. Shall we settle down and eat dinner?”

Gou turns around to see Satoshi break into a wide smile, his eyes shining. _Kira-kira._ “All right! I’m starving!” He jumps up from the fireplace, hands the cup back to a bemused Koharu, and grabs Gou’s hand. Satoshi’s hand is warm again, Gou thinks numbly, as he lets Satoshi drag him to the dining table. 

He wants to hold Satoshi’s hand forever, and never let go. But Satoshi lets go as soon as they sit down at the dining table, next to each other. Koharu sits down on his right, head rested on her hand and elbow propped on the table, pointedly staring at anywhere except for the two of them. Sota takes his seat with the Professor and Yoshino, and proceeds to hold a staring contest with his sister. Barried whistles a jaunty tune as he ladles out the stew into their respective bowls, and Satoshi falls into easy conversation with the Professor, Yoshino and Sota. Even they gravitate towards him, and Gou is reminded again of how he’s not the only one in love with Satoshi.

“Looks amazing!” gushes Satoshi as he takes a big whiff of the stew and sighs. Despite himself, Gou’s heart skips a beat, and he bites his lip to keep himself from smiling. Beside him, Koharu rolls her eyes.

“Thanks for the food!” all of them chime, before they dig into the stew. On the floor, the Pokemon are enjoying a rich platter of Pokemon food and Berries.

“Hey, these carrot slices are star-shaped!” exclaims Satoshi as he peers at one in his spoon. “And this is just like the stew we had at Gou’s apartment!”

“Gou made it!” Sota pipes in with a cheeky smile before Gou can stop him. “Because he l—”

“Be quiet and eat your food, Sota,” says Koharu sternly. He’ll thank her later.

Satoshi turns to Gou. “You did, Gou?” he asks, and reluctantly, shyly, Gou nods, and Satoshi’s smile turns into a grin. “Thank you, Gou! I love it!”

“You’d better,” says Koharu in a matter-of-fact voice. “Gou put a lot of hard work in it. Of course, he had help.”

Satoshi tilts his head as he chews on a carrot star. “Now that you mention it… it _does_ remind me a little of Mao’s cooking. She must’ve instructed you a little, but still… _you’re_ awesome, Gou!”

Like always, he feels himself flush at Satoshi’s compliment. “Well, of course—” he starts to say, but then he catches Sota’s smug look and catches himself, turning back to his bowl. He stirs the stew, star-shaped carrots swirling round and round, round and round.

* * *

Back at the Laboratory in their dorm, Gou hands Satoshi a small package. He stares down at it. “What’s this?” he asks.

“Open it,” says Gou simply, and he obliges. He does it clumsily, tearing the paper in all directions instead of removing the tape and rolling it up neatly like Gou would’ve done—but Gou smiles anyway—it was so Satoshi.

He watches as Satoshi pulls out the present, his mouth forming an adorable ‘O’. “Gloves?” he asks, turning the pair of gloves over in his hands and feeling the fabric carefully.

“Yeah,” says Gou. “Because you don’t wear any, and just now, your hands were really cold. I… I don’t want you to get cold again.” Satoshi pulls the gloves over his hands, flexing his fingers and clenching and unclenching his fists. Gou clears his throat. “…Do… do you like it?”

Satoshi looks up at him, and his smile is blinding. Despite the biting cold of their dorm, Gou’s heart warms. “I _love_ it!" he enthuses. "Thank you so much, Gou!”

Under Satoshi’s intense, strangely tender gaze, Gou finds himself looking away, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Well, ah, it’s not that big of a deal…” 

He trails off as he suddenly realises how close Satoshi has gotten in a span of a second—so close that their noses are almost touching, and Gou can count the eyelashes framing his eyes. 

He swallows as Satoshi takes his hand into his gloved one, the other hand reaching up to caress Gou’s cheek. 

Gou’s heartbeat speeds up, and he stammers, “S-Satoshi?” Pikachu, Messon and Rabifoot watch them from a corner silently, but Satoshi commands all of Gou’s attention, and he finds himself lost in the rich brown of Satoshi’s eyes. Satoshi's warmth is radiating; enveloping him in its arms.

“Gou,” is all Satoshi says, before he closes the distance and kisses him.

Gou’s mind goes completely blank. Satoshi’s lips are softer than he thought they would be, warm and gentle against his. His kiss is clumsy, just like Satoshi, but all Gou can think about is warmth and star-shaped carrots and gloved hands cupping his face, as he kisses him back, heart beating in his throat. Satoshi tastes like stew and star-shaped carrots and _kira-kira,_ and Gou drowns against his lips, even as he holds on to their kiss like it's a lifeline.

Satoshi pulls him closer for a few moments before the both of them pull away. Outside the window, the snow continues to fall, soundless.

“Why did you do that?” whispers Gou, and Satoshi tilts his head. 

“I thought you did that to someone you love.” 

Gou’s heart floats and sinks at the same time. 

“You love a lot of things, Satoshi,” he points out quietly. “You love Pikachu and the rest of your Pokemon. You love your mother, and your friends.”

Satoshi nods. “But… with you,” he says, then hesitates. “With you, it’s different.”

Gou blinks. “It… is?” Too delicate to hold, his voice quavers, and dissolves into the quiet of the night.

Satoshi doesn't seem to notice as he traces Gou’s palm with his fingers, sending trails of warmth along his skin. His voice is low and soft, lulling Gou into a gentle trance.

“Y'know, a friend of mine kissed me before.”

Gou stiffens. Glass shatters in his ears; pierces his chest. Suddenly, it's hard to breathe. Satoshi's touch turns cold against his skin, and he curses himself, _stupid, stupid, stupid Gou. He's not yours. He never was—_

“Oh?” he manages. 

“I didn’t know what it meant,” Satoshi continues. “I thought it was some Kalosian tradition when you’re seeing another person off. It was only when I was in Alola during Professor Kukui and Burnet’s wedding, when I saw them kiss, and I realised it was something you did with the person you love. In _that_ way.” Gou is forced to meet Satoshi's eye, and his gaze puts the broken pieces of Gou back together again. Like he always does. 

"I didn't know I liked you, Gou, not in that way, until today, when I went to visit Kasumi, to catch up with her. I was telling her about you, and she said, and I quote, _You sound as if you're in love with him, gross."_ He rubs his hands together. "And that was when I realised. I _am_ in love with you."

"Satoshi…" is all Gou can find to say, and they're left sitting on the bed, facing each other, hands clasped. _Satoshi is in love with me. Satoshi is in love with me._ Satoshi's hand is bigger than his, and it wraps around his snugly. It fits better than Gou thought.

“You're _kira-kira,"_ he says softly, and Satoshi peers up at him through eyelashes, strangely shy and charming at the same time.

_“Kira-kira?”_

Despite himself, Gou blushes. “Yes. Shining, sparkling just like the sun, the moon, the stars.”

A grin spreads on Satoshi’s face, like the first rays of the sun peeking out from behind a mountain. “Like star-shaped carrot slices?” he teases, and Gou feels his cheeks burn as if he’s been scalded by the sun. But perhaps he has—Satoshi is the sun, after all.

“Yes, like star-shaped carrot slices,” he mumbles, looking down at his lap, but then he feels Satoshi’s hand under his chin, tilting his face up. Steadily, their eyes meet—brown against blue. Blue against red. Then before he knows it, Satoshi’s lips are on his again, and his whole body hums with an undercurrent of warmth.

They pull away again, Satoshi’s eyes never leaving Gou.

“Kiss me again,” says Gou breathlessly, and he feels as though he’s giving a command to Rabifoot in the heat of battle. “Kiss me again and again, until I am tired of it.”

Satoshi’s laugh is music to his ears, a tinkling melody, like windchimes in the still night. “I could never get tired of you, Gou.” 

He says in such a matter-of-fact voice, like it’s the most simple truth in the world, that Gou feels tears well up in his eyes.

He feels a finger caress his face, and blinks to see Satoshi brush a tear away from his cheek, staining the fabric of his glove.

“I think it’s time we went to bed, yeah?” he says gently, and Gou nods. Satoshi moves away from him, and Gou’s already missing the warmth of him. 

“Wait!” he calls out. Satoshi turns to look at him. He lowers his eyes, then blurts out, “Can—can I sleep here with you tonight?"

Satoshi studies his face, which is probably tear-streaked beyond recognition, but he must have found something he was looking for, because his features melt into his usual dazzling smile. “Sure,” he says, and hops back onto his bed with a plop. Gou yelps. 

Satoshi chuckles, and his heart flutters. He’s not sure whether Satoshi could ever get tired of him, but he knows that _he_ will never get tired of Satoshi.

 _I just wish we could stay like this forever._

The thought slips out, unbidden, and even as he climbs into the bed next to Satoshi, Gou tries to quash this uncomfortable feeling that has surfaced along with it. Because they _can’t_ stay like this forever, right? 

Koharu’s words echo in his mind, a warning she issued just the day before, when they stood on the balcony of the Sakuragi Institute facing the big city. He seared on his memory the image of Sakuragi Koharu looking right at him with her brilliant green eyes, a scatter of cherry blossom petals suspended in the wind, lingering around her—and her voice, her words, her warning. _You know he’s not going to stay forever, right? You should know that one day, you’ll wake up in your dormitory and realise the bottom bed is empty and uninhabited. You’ll make your way down to the lounge, sit down to have breakfast—and realise the seat opposite you is empty, too. And when you’re on one of your research journeys, you’ll see a new Pokemon and turn to your side excitedly to point it out, but no one will be there._ No one will be there.

He swallows, the familiar insecurity rising to the surface. But then he feels Satoshi snuggle up next to him, an arm coming up to drape against his chest, and Gou realises Satoshi has fallen asleep—breathing deepened and evened. A few seconds later, he starts snoring, a small trail of drool sneaking its way out from the corner of his mouth. He looks calm, peaceful—every bit of the wild, bouncing energy drained out of him during sleep. Pikachu has curled up on his stomach, and the two of them seem to have become one living, breathing system. Maybe they’re having the same dream right now. Gou feels himself smile at the sight. Even asleep, Satoshi is _kira-kira._

“Gou,” murmurs Satoshi suddenly, and Gou freezes, heart suddenly too loud in his ears. But Satoshi does not move and his breathing remains even, as calm as the motionless surface of a lake.

He sighs. Rabifoot pads over to the bedside, takes its place sitting against the bedpost, and closes its eyes. Messon follows it with its little wobbly steps, and curls up beside Rabifoot. The two of them fall asleep together, red and blue. Gou casts his gaze back towards Satoshi. It’s only been a few hours since he arrived at the Sakuragis’ house cold and shivering and on the verge of frostbite, but now, he’s nothing but warmth and light and home.

Gou swivels his head to gaze out at the night sky through the window. White snow falls, gentle and silent, against the dark night—and the stars, the _stars—_ they wink back at Gou cheekily, as if flashing out a secret, coded message to him—

—A dark shadow zooms across, blotting out the stars and relighting them just as fast. A giggle, light and mischievous, rings in the dead silence of the night, echoing in his ears like a taunt. Charming. Unmistakable. 

Gou’s eyes widen, and his heart jumps to his throat.

_Mew?_

As the quiet begins to creep in again and the sound of Satoshi’s breathing resettles, he wonders if he just imagined it. After all, Mew has always eluded him; it’s always two steps—no, a _thousand_ steps ahead of him. Gou’s not stupid. He knows he’s chasing something he can’t ever reach. But— 

He glances back at Satoshi again. Even now, he can envision the look of utter passion and determination Satoshi always has when he’s talking about his dream. _To become a Pokemon Master._ It’s clear he’s been at this for a long, long time, faced many, many challenges and setbacks and moments when he feels utterly helpless—but there’s one thing he will never do: give up.

That’s what Satoshi has taught him. To never give up. And so… Gou won’t give up on Mew, not yet, not ever.

“Wait for me, Mew,” he whispers into the night. Mew does not respond, but the stars twinkle at him, as if winking their silent acknowledgement. “Wait for me.”

The only response is Satoshi snoring. Then, turning over and messing up the blanket as he does so, he mumbles Gou’s name under his breath again, tugging at his arm weakly. Gou smiles down at him. Tucking himself into bed next to Satoshi, he closes his eyes.

 _“Sleep tight…”_ murmurs Satoshi, a lazy lullaby humming in his throat. _“In Mummy’s arms… Together with the new breeze…”_

Yes, Mew can wait, Gou thinks to himself, even as he feels himself edge into sleep, lulled by Satoshi’s voice. Because for now… he has Satoshi, and Gou doesn’t plan to ever let go. 

**Author's Note:**

> <3
> 
> (also, what koharu said near the end is a reference to under the cherry blossom tree)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
